Having studied psychology for the last three years, I think I’ve learned to observe people. One of my observations has led me to the theory that people genuinely think they’re “good” people.

there are many theories about this in the field of psychology – as I imagine there are in all the social sciences. People tell themselves things – sometimes, people even distort the truth a little – in order to make themselves the proverbial “good guy” in most, if not all, situations. As humans, we don’t like being wrong, and we don’t like being unsure. We come up with all sorts of excuses and half-truths to make ourselves seem right. This is how the human brain works – we function on self-preservation.

All of this occurs in the human brain with all people. There are theories that state certain personality types are exempt to this. That isn’t a theory that I completely agree with. I’ve seen many various personalities partake in self-preservation tactics. Maybe that just comes from being a university student – seeing the various types of people around campus.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that people do not let go. Over the weekend, I happened to run into a classmate from high school. We didn’t really get along back then, and it really affected me then. She bullied me quite intensely. Since, I’ve learned to let it go and move on.

However, almost four years later, she starts flinging profanities and threats at me from across the shopping center. To be honest, I forgot the reasoning behind the bullying and disliking. I probably should have been intimidated and frightened by the attack, but I was simply fascinated that she held on to those feelings for so long. I couldn’t fathom it. But maybe that’s just the person I am now – jaded and unresponsive, and lacking emotion.

With my observations come flaws that I’ve also noticed in myself. I spend so much time observing people that I sometimes forget they’re humans with feelings. I forget they feel, regardless of personality and old high school grudges.

I’ve lost touch with my own “human” side. I spend so  much time studying people, and trying to figure out what makes them tick, that I’ve forgotten how they feel. this is my own flaw that I have deal with and work on.

These are only very few of my observations. More may come in time.

To be lost in a state of confusion
No sense of direction, you can’t be found.
Far from the truth of this slim and shady youth
But it’s all the same, it’s all the same to me.
– Motion City Soundtrack ~ Throwdown


~ by Aubrey Smith on June 6, 2011.

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